Comparing and Contrasting the Young Protagonists in Neil Bartlett's Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall and Edmund White's A Boy's Own Story

Introduction
Neil Bartlett’s Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall (1990) and Edmund White’s A Boy’s Own Story (1982) are two seminal works in LGBTQ+ literature, each chronicling the journey of young protagonists grappling with their sexuality, identity, and coming-of-age experiences. Though both novels are centered around young boys trying to navigate their desires and relationships within a broader societal context, their protagonists, Simon (from Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall) and the narrator (from A Boy’s Own Story), embody very different experiences of self-discovery, family relationships, and social challenges. This comparison will analyze these two characters, examining how their backgrounds, emotional struggles, and paths toward self-understanding reflect the distinct themes of sexuality, family dynamics, and identity formation within the context of their respective narratives.

1. Background and Upbringing: Family Dynamics

Simon in Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall:
In Bartlett’s novel, Simon grows up in London during the 1960s and 1970s, in a family marked by distance and emotional isolation. His relationship with his parents is somewhat detached, and his father’s rejection of his sexuality adds to Simon’s sense of alienation. Simon’s family, in particular, is represented by a coldness and lack of communication, which contrasts sharply with the warmth and openness that Simon seeks in his relationships with others. His sexual awakening happens amid a feeling of abandonment, as he yearns to find his place in a world that does not seem to understand him. The lack of nurturing from his family leads Simon to explore his identity in other spaces, especially through his relationships with men.
The Narrator in A Boy's Own Story:
In contrast, the narrator in White’s novel experiences a more complex and intimately dysfunctional family life. His relationship with his mother is marked by a deep, often overwhelming attachment, which borders on emotional dependency. This attachment is contrasted with his father’s absence, both physically and emotionally, which creates a sense of loss in the narrator’s life. The narrator's sexual awakening is also shaped by this fractured family dynamic—his sexual desire emerges not just as a source of personal conflict, but as a way to express the longing for a closeness he lacks in his familial relationships. The story portrays a boy caught between the suffocating bond with his mother and the absence of his father, which complicates his own process of self-definition.

2. Sexual Awakening and Exploration

Simon’s Journey of Sexual Discovery:
Simon’s exploration of his sexuality is characterized by a series of encounters and relationships with men that provide a sense of intimacy and belonging that he does not find at home. His sexual experiences are often defined by secrecy and shame, but they also represent a means of escape from the emotional emptiness he feels within his family. In Simon’s case, his discovery of his sexuality is not just a personal awakening, but also a search for acceptance and connection in a society that is often hostile to his desires. The journey to self-acceptance is marked by moments of vulnerability, where Simon navigates feelings of guilt and desperation, but also experiences moments of profound connection with those who understand him.
The Narrator’s Sexual Exploration:
The narrator in A Boy's Own Story is similarly engaged in the process of sexual exploration, but his experiences are far more rooted in psychological complexity and confusion. His sexual curiosity manifests as a desire for both physical intimacy and emotional connection. His encounters with other boys are characterized by a mix of guilt, shame, and longing—as he desires intimacy but feels isolated and misunderstood. The narrator’s sexuality is also intertwined with his sense of self-worth, and his feelings of attraction to both older men and peers reflect his confusion about his identity. Unlike Simon, the narrator is deeply affected by his emotional attachment to his mother and his father’s absence, which complicates his sense of autonomy and independence. The narrator’s journey is more internal, and his struggle with sexuality is intertwined with his need to break free from the emotional ties that bind him to his family.

3. Relationships and Emotional Growth

Simon’s Relationships:
Simon’s relationships are typically external and revolve around his sexual encounters and the search for companionship. He forms deep emotional bonds with his lovers, but these relationships are often tainted by secrecy and the inability to fully embrace his identity in public spaces. Simon's emotional growth is closely tied to the exploration of intimacy and desire, which allows him to come to terms with his sexual identity. However, his inability to fully reconcile his inner world with the social pressures he faces leads him to a sense of despair and self-doubt. Despite his desire for connection, Simon’s journey involves learning to cope with loneliness and alienation.
The Narrator’s Relationships:
The relationships in A Boy’s Own Story are more deeply psychological and reflective of the narrator’s emotional state. His bond with his mother is suffocating, and his relationships with other boys often blur the lines between desire and emotional need. His attraction to older men becomes a means of seeking paternal affection, but this also causes confusion about his own sense of masculinity. The narrator’s emotional growth is hindered by his struggle for independence, as he seeks validation both from his mother and his sexual experiences. Unlike Simon, whose relationships are often external and based on romantic love, the narrator’s relationships are often fraught with psychological conflict, highlighting his struggle to define himself against the backdrop of a disjointed family dynamic.

4. Themes of Isolation and Belonging

Simon’s Sense of Isolation:
Throughout Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall, Simon experiences profound isolation as he seeks love and intimacy in a world that does not accept his desires. His farm, family, and community all remain disconnected from his sexual identity, leaving him with a sense of being an outsider. His emotional growth requires him to navigate both the physical and emotional spaces of exile he faces—first within his family, then within his relationships. Simon must learn to reconcile his desires with his need for belonging, a theme that ultimately drives his sense of self-identity.
The Narrator’s Struggle for Belonging:
The narrator in A Boy’s Own Story similarly struggles with feelings of isolation, but his sense of alienation is primarily internalized. He feels detached from both his family and his own emotions. The absence of his father and the overbearing presence of his mother create a psychological environment where he feels disconnected from the world around him. As the narrator grows, he navigates his sexual identity while still feeling tethered to his family’s expectations. His journey toward belonging involves an exploration of self-acceptance and independence from his family, a process that is complicated by the emotional hold his mother has over him.

5. Resolution and Self-Acceptance

Simon’s Resolution:
By the end of Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall, Simon has made progress toward self-acceptance, but it is clear that his journey is far from complete. The novel ends on a note of hope, though it is tinged with uncertainty. Simon’s acceptance of his sexuality comes at the cost of his earlier dreams of romantic love, but he has learned to embrace his individuality and find a sense of peace in his own identity.
The Narrator’s Resolution:
The narrator’s journey in A Boy’s Own Story is less about definitive resolution and more about acceptance of ongoing complexity. The novel ends with the narrator’s reflection on the disillusionments he has faced and the challenges he continues to encounter. While he has achieved a degree of self-awareness, he remains emotionally torn between his desire for affection and his need for autonomy. His emotional growth is marked by gradual self-realization, but it remains incomplete, highlighting the incomplete nature of his self-definition.

Conclusion

While both Simon and the narrator are engaged in similar processes of sexual exploration and self-discovery, their respective journeys differ significantly in terms of their familial influences, emotional conflicts, and relationships. Simon’s path in Ready to Catch Him Should He Fall is marked by a search for external love and intimacy, while the narrator in A Boy’s Own Story wrestles with more internal struggles related to his family dynamics and emotional attachments. Both characters, however, embody the universal themes of alienation, sexual identity, and the quest for self-acceptance, offering readers two distinct but deeply insightful portrayals of young men trying to find their place in the world.